Please Tell Me What is Wrong With My Brain

I actually have this book, but now I'm starting to think I may need something even more elementary. I really don't know what is wrong with me, but I'm linking my complete stupidity when it comes to sewing, along with the fact that I cannot read a map, math makes me weep in fear, and if someone tries to give me driving directions using "north, south, etc." I nearly have a nervous breakdown. Steve would probably add that I do the same thing when trying to calculate a tip at a restaurant, but I'll just lump that in with my math problem, obviously.

Yesterday, Camden decided he needed a "treasure bag" for his "pirate booty" (contrary to what you may be thinking, "booty" in this instance, means "loot", and not "butt"). So, while out running errands, we stopped in at JoAnn Fabrics and picked out a lovely piece of skull and crossbones material, along with some gold cord. My thought was to make a drawstring bag like one my mother had made me as a child. Sounds simple, I know. Luckily, I purchased enough fabric for two bags, because I needed it. I won't even tell you what I did on the first attempt, because reflecting on it now, I cannot believe what a sewing nimrod I am. Okay, I can, but that's besides the point. Eventually, I finished the bag, but not without a lot of seam-ripping, head-scratching, and cursing under my breath. I want so badly to teach myself how to sew, but my little project yesterday knocked me down a few pegs. I think I may be lacking the necessary brain matter to properly operate a sewing machine. I'm not giving up though. Stay tuned...I will keep you posted on my progress (or lack there of).