And So It Goes

The past few months have been difficult. Nothing completely earth-shattering, but difficult enough to have kind of put a halt to most creativity, or ability to even want to write. A grand funk, if you will.

I have never been a fan of blogs (or Facebook pages, for that matter) that whine about someones lot in life, or spew negativity, because really, we all have our struggles. So, I haven't been writing. I just haven't felt like it. But now I do. So I am going to attempt to get caught up here, because this is my record of what goes on in our little family. I'm slightly cross with myself for leaving the last few months essentially blank, but that is how life goes sometimes. We struggle until we get to a point where things start to turn around. I dare say that summer has something to do with the shift I am beginning to feel - - oh, how I love summer!

School has just let out, and the boys and I are gearing up for a great summer. Annual Training started today, and I am happy that we are getting that out of the way so that Steve can join us on many of our adventures. We sure did miss him last summer. I can't wait to see what the months ahead have in store for us!

(This photo clearly has nothing to do with this post, but I had to add it, because Smokey is just weird. This is her preferred sleeping position)

Done (okay, not really)

Back from Iraq ~ the first time ~ October, 2005

Oh my goodness...I am so done with this deployment. I just want Steve to be here NOW, so badly. You would think I could hold it together - - I mean, he's been gone for nearly a year, but this last little bit is just about doing me in. I am not a patient girl when it gets right down to the wire, and although it appears he will be coming home right around the time we've thought he'd be coming all along, all I can think about is, "why isn't he here now? why can't he come home earlier?" I seriously need to get a grip.

The boys (including Steve) and I have been through a lot this year. We were very lucky to have both my parents and my in-laws both come out for extended visits during that time. We've experienced kindness from the most unexpected places. The hardest parts of a deployment, though, are the parts that nobody else can help you with. Camden and Griffin have both struggled emotionally, in different ways. At times it has been so heartbreaking to watch, and really, there hasn't been a lot I could do other than listen. I really, truly was not prepared to deal with the effect that Steve's absence would have on the boys.

Long separation is rough on a marriage. Even a really good marriage. It is difficult to parent children from opposite sides of the globe, and to make decisions regarding your children. Stress certainly plays a major factor in making it more difficult, and I know that Steve and I both went through a period for a few months where our stress levels were so high that it was difficult to accomplish much at all. I think the worst time for me was after Steve had been home on leave, and it kind of carried on through the end of the school year. Never have I ever been happier for summer vacation and being able to have lots of fun with the boys ~ what a great distraction!

In the end, I'm proud of how we pulled through. Over the years, Steve has been gone a lot, so I knew before he left this time that I was completely capable of caring for the boys on my own. That being said, life is just a whole lot nicer with Steve around. Can't wait to have him back.

5 Years

Today marks five years since I became a stay-at-home mom. It just doesn't seem like it has been that long but I suppose it has, since I stopped working just a few weeks before I had Griffin. I cannot get over how much life has changed between now and then.

I don't have many memories of those early days, probably due to the fact that I had a newborn at home, and I was trying to keep a 3 1/2 year old happy, too. I do remember that in the first few days, I called Steve at work A LOT. He must have thought I was a nut. I remember that it seemed like the days were dragging by so slowly. I literally counted the minutes until he would come home at night. Thankfully, that feeling didn't last awfully long. I also have a distinct memory of being faced with attending some sort of military function that fall, and I actually had a good cry about it. I didn't want to go, because I just knew that someone would ask me what I did (as in, what I did for work). I didn't want to have to say that I stayed at home, because I guess I worried about what people would think of me. Just typing that, I cannot believe how silly that sounds to me now, but at the time, it was really upsetting to me back then. I had worked all of my adult life - - all through high school, through college, and after that. I suppose my identity and probably my self worth were pretty tied up in my job, although in the years immediately before I became a mother, I had a series of jobs that I really didn't like at all.

Since then, my viewpoint has obviously changed a lot. Not without struggle though. Five years later, I cannot imagine the day that I go back to work. I suppose that when both boys are in school, I will search out some sort of part-time job, but I hope that I'll be able to find something that will allow me to be home in the morning, and also in the afternoon when they get home from school.

I have never gotten so much satisfaction out of anything I've ever done, as I do from being home with my boys. I worked full-time until Camden was 3 1/2, with two hours of commute time each day, and I can definitely tell you that being home is far more work! It is a common misconception that stay-at-home moms lay on the sofa, eat candy, and watch t.v. all day...maybe some do, but I can assure you that I'm not one of them! I take a lot of pride in how hard I work every day. From time to time, I do miss the adult interaction, the distraction, and frankly, the freedom that came with working outside the home, but definitely not enough to wish that I was working again. I feel very lucky to have the opportunity to do what I do and I couldn't be happier. Life is good!

Hello, Spring? I Know You Are There...

Our weather has been kind of strange lately. I suppose it is our typical spring weather, but we keep getting a warm-weather tease (mid-to-high 60's) followed by a drastic drop in temperature. Just the other day, I got a little too much sun doing yard work, and just two days later, it was spitting snow. I'm more than ready to put this fickle weather behind me and move right into summer, frankly.

On one of our recent balmy days, the boys got right to work, burying each other in the sand box. This is something that Griff particularly enjoys, for whatever reason. I am really looking forward to days on the patio, watching the boys play. Come on, warm weather!

More Fire Station Fun

As if we didn't have enough fun this past Wednesday with Griff's field trip, our city fire station held its annual open house and chili feed yesterday, and of course we went, like we do every year. We missed having Steve with us though, and Camden mentioned he is glad that Daddy will get to come with us next year. The boys had fun climbing on all of the trucks and checking everything out. A guaranteed crowd-pleaser!

Soccer Season Has Started!

My boys officially started spring soccer season this week with their first games, and I officially started my first soccer season of having two children playing at the same time. I've seen lots of parents do it in seasons passed, and it isn't easy! Mostly, because I don't like leaving either of them during their games, but for now that is just how it is going to have to be! This means lots of running between soccer fields for me, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. This is Camden's fourth soccer season, so he's an old pro by now. His favorite position is goalie, and he does a great job . Griffin has been very excited that he is finally old enough to play soccer now, although he was a little timid at his first couple of practices, but was fine once he warmed up a bit. His first game went well, although I'm not sure that he exactly grasps the concept of the game yet - - that will come in time I am sure. So, for the next few weeks, we will spend three nights per week at the soccer fields. Can't believe our next activity will be summer swimming lessons...coming right up!

Bunk Bed Boys

I finally bought some bunk beds for my boys today, after a long quest. I've been stalking Craigslist for months, but could never find quite what I was looking for. This afternoon, I took a random trip to my local thrift store, and these beauties were sitting there, seemingly waiting for me to walk in. They are brand new, can separate into two individual twin beds, have side rails, and a ladder - - all features I was looking for.

I must admit, I've hesitated a few times in buying bunk beds, for worry that someone would launch off the top bunk and break an arm. I'm glad I got over that, because life is just too short, and the boys were so incredibly excited to see their new beds - - they just love them! At first, there was a squabble as to who would get the top bunk, but that was settled after Griff climbed to the top bunk the first time, and decided that the bottom bunk suited him just fine.

I still need to buy an additional twin mattress for Griffin, so for now he is using his toddler mattress. He feels like such a big boy in his new bed, and I know that Camden loves having his own little private haven up above his brother.

As for the fire truck bed - - it has served its purpose. We've decided that we won't be getting rid of it, but instead it will take up residence in the storage shed until maybe someone has a little boy of their own someday.

The fire truck bed had to go somewhere, and I can tell you I had a heck of a time trying to move it to the basement, but I sure felt like a rock star when I managed to get it down there by myself, without incident!

Exploring by the River

Today was Steve's last full day in Idaho, before he has to head back to Iraq to finish his tour. We didn't really have a plan for the day, other than to have quality time with our boys. The weather was a little chilly, but we decided to head down to the river to do some exploring. This is something that Steve does pretty regularly with the boys, and it is one of their favorite things to do. They both packed up their backpacks with their essential exploring gear, and we were off!

Skipping rocks is always a must

We spent quite a bit of time wandering and exploring and had a great time. Next, it was time for a scenic drive...


Steve relived his youth and impressed his sons, by doing some donuts in the truck.

All too quickly, the day was over with and it was time for stories and bed. We had a really wonderful day and I cannot wait for this deployment to be over with so we can get back to our normal little life.

Hotel Touring

I think I mentioned how Griffin wasn't exactly a team player when it came to leaving the hotel during our trip to McCall. He was more content with swimming in the pool, partaking in the continental breakfast, and "touring" the hotel. This involved walking up and down the hallways, trips to each and every floor (over and over) in the elevator, and finding and using all stairwells. I'm pretty sure he could have done this all day long. One afternoon, I sent Steve over to Ponderosa State Park so he could ski, and Camden and I were the unlucky victims of Griffin's hotel-touring-obsession. I actually wasn't too hesitant in indulging him, because I figured at least it might wear him out a little.

This photo depicts the moment when Camden had had his fill of wandering the halls. He was a good sport. Seriously, I hope Griffin outgrows his aversion to outdoor fun sometime soon!

A Little Getaway

Steve arrived home for 2 weeks of R&R just before midnight on February 13th. He'd been traveling for nearly 75 hours at that point, so the poor guy was exhausted. After about a day of recuperation, we packed up the boys and headed for McCall, where we could be alone and get reacquainted with each other. McCall is a winter-wonderland this time of year, and the only downside to our little trip was that Griffin was not "down" with all of the snow. So, our plans of sledding, skiing, and general snow-time fun were short-lived. The boys were mostly interested in the hotel and the hotel pool, which Steve and I can tell you, was not exactly "heated". Just the same, we had a wonderful time and I'm telling you now, if Steve ever gets deployed again, we will be spending R&R at an undisclosed location where nobody can find us! I can't tell you how important and precious the time together as a family unit is. Really, all I wanted was to hide away somewhere, so I am glad we had the opportunity to get away, if only for a few days. After a couple of nights in McCall, we headed back toward home, but spent a night in Boise first. Again, the boys were most excited about being in a hotel! We had a great time together but of course it went by much too quickly.

Griffin's Birthday Party

We decided to celebrate Griffin's fourth birthday early this year, on September 18th, so that Steve could be here for his special day.

Early-morning gifts

Steve surprised Griff with a bouncy house in the back yard....BIG hit.

We borrowed some camo netting from the Military History Museum...another big hit!

First aid station, where the boys could bandage each other up

Griff gets doctored

As you can see, Griffin was an enthusiastic gift-opener

We all had a great day, and we were so glad that we had lots of family and friends around to help celebrate with us.

A Little Get-Away

Steve, the boys, and I just returned from a mini-vacation in McCall, Idaho. We rented a house and spent a few days, just the four of us, and it was wonderful. I think I have an acute case of post-vacation hangover this morning. It was so nice to be away from everything and just enjoy each other's company. The cabin had no television, no phone, and no Internet, and I didn't miss any of them. None of us wanted to come home, except Griffin, who missed his toys. And now, I give you in no particular order, my top 10 favorite moments from our little adventure:

Our cabin. You wouldn't guess it from the outside, but the inside was gorgeous. I fell madly in love with the huge, open kitchen/dining room/living room. If we ever build a house, I want it to look just like this one on the inside.

Our canoe adventure on Payette Lake. We even saw a mama moose swimming and emerging from the lake. Only my second moose-sighting ever, and I'm from Maine!

The gigantic, deep bath tub.

Riding our bikes at Ponderosa State Park

Happening upon a real, live Sisters on the Fly camp trailer (more on that, later...)

Afternoon naps (it cracks me up how they are in the exact same position)

Digging in the dirt with my big boy

The dishwasher - - I do not have a dishwasher, and I have to say, it was soooo nice to not have to wash dishes by hand, 5 million times per day. Our rental also had a microwave - - something else I do not own - - but I kept forgetting to use it because I am so accustomed to life without one. This reaffirmed the fact that I can definitely get by without having one.

Post-dinner ice cream at The Ice Cream Alley

Having this guy all to ourselves, out of his nutty Army environment. No ringing cell phone. No distractions. It was wonderful!

Family & Friends

Steve's parents have been here for the past two weeks and we've had a nice visit with them. The boys have so enjoyed having their Gramma and Grampa here! Dev was able to help Steve complete the projects he wanted and needed to get done before he deploys, so I know that is a huge load off Steve's mind. We had great weather while they were here too, but in Idaho, the weather is always perfect!

We love the neighborhood we live in, and we are very lucky to have some wonderful neighbors. Margaret lives "across the alley" from us, and not only is she a wonderful woman, she loves our boys something fierce. She recently turned 70, so we had a little celebration with her the other night.

We love you, Margaret!

A Titanic Adventure

Last Friday, we set out on a nearly 315-mile road trip to Eastern Idaho. Our destination? The Museum of Idaho, to see the Titanic Artifact Exhibit. If you've never been out West, this is what you see a lot of: Wide Open Spaces.


Everyone was all smiles as we set out.

Griffin "read" all the books I'd packed in about the first 20 minutes.

The Captain, tending to some urgent Army business. I annoyed him by taking a picture of him, every time his cell phone rang. I stopped taking pictures after about the 7th call, but they kept coming just the same!

Look! I was there, too!

We made a pit-stop at the Mountain Home armory, where I snapped a quick picture of the sign, while Steve is still in command (for one more week).

When we pulled into the armory, there was a cow in the parking lot.

Isn't Idaho lovely?

Next stop: Craters of the Moon National Monument. The boys loved it! We got in a good leg stretching.

Soldier down!

At long last, we reach our hotel in Idaho Falls, where Camden treats Griff to a choppy back massage.

Mmmmmm! Continental breakfast!

After not being able to fall asleep the night before, Camden woke up at the crack of dawn and proceeded to ask every 5 minutes, what time the museum opened. He wanted to be the first one in the door, and I am happy to report that he was! The exhibit was absolutely amazing. No cameras allowed inside, unfortunately. Needless to say, we had a great time. I think my favorite artifact may have been the perfume bottles that had been brought on board by Adolphe Saalfeld of Manchester, England. He was a perfume maker, and boarded Titanic carrying a leather satchel filled with 65 little bottles, that he was probably taking to America to sell in various boutiques. He survived the sinking, but his satchel sank with the ship. Of the 65 bottles lost, 62 have been recovered. There were little holes in the display case, and you could still smell the beautiful perfume. Amazing. Camden's favorite: the large model of Titanic, as it appears on the ocean floor.

After lunch, we started our journey back West. We passed a ton of these potato barns.

This is Number Hill in Arco, Idaho. Graduating seniors have painted their year of graduation on this hillside every year since 1920.

Hey, look! Picabu, Idaho! Did you know that this is the town that inspired Picabu Street's name?

We stopped for the night in Fairfield, a one-horse town. We had a fabulous meal at the Soldier Mountain Brewing Company. Did you know that the actor Bruce Willis owns Soldier Mountain? Actually, by the time our meal came, the boys were done eating, so we packed ours to go and headed to a local playground so the boys could burn off some pent-up energy.

Chicken Gorgonzola pasta....delish.

After a couple of glasses of a delightful Spanish wine, I did a little climbing.

Breakfast the next morning....

Before hitting the road, we watched the beginning of the Camas Days 10K, organized by our good friend Dennis, who just happens to have been Steve's commander while they were in Iraq. That's Dennis in the blue shirt. The "yellow team" from the most recent season of the Biggest Loser was supposed to be there to run the race, but they didn't show up. Hmmmmm......

We made it home around lunch time, and what a great time we had. It was great to get out of town and see another part of this beautiful state.