Getting a Grip

I'm typing this morning with a sleeping 3-week-old in my lap, while trying to finish eating a lukewarm bowl of oatmeal and sip an already-reheated-in-the-microwave cup of coffee. Camden spent the night last night with my in-laws (they have a travel trailer out here), so I find myself with a bit of time to get caught up on a few things, and pull myself together. I'm still struggling a bit, trying to balance my time between a newborn who wants to be fed around the clock and needs me for everything, and a very active 3-year-old who misses his Mummy. I'm looking forward to the time where it won't hurt so badly. I really had no idea that it would be like this. I simply wasn't prepared for the emotional aspect of providing care for two completely different little creatures. I think the bulk of my struggle right now stems from the fact that I have been putting far too much pressure on myself these past three weeks to get everything done like I use to, rather than making adjustments where I need to, and create a new "normal".
I recently taped an article on the inside of my medicine cabinet, in an attempt to remind myself to calm down and let things happen as they are naturally meant to. It came from the September issue of Child magazine, and here is a small excerpt. It was entitled, "Confessions of an Imperfect Mother".

Looking back, I think my performance was mixed. In focusing on one child, I would often neglect another. What seemed like a good idea on Tuesday often proved to be a bad idea by the end of the week. I got tired. I was misinformed. Dare I say it? I was sometimes lazy. And scared. But now, 25 years later, with my children grown and raising children of their own, here is what I want to whisper in their ears.
Be patient. Nothing good you do for children is wasted. Some seeds simply take longer to germinate. Don’t be afraid. Your children’s success does not depend on you. It depends on them. This doesn’t mean you can retire to a bistro and watch their progress over an aperitif from a distance. But they want to come into their own even more than you want them to. Trust them more.

Phyllis Theroux

In other news, the rental next door continues to come right along. We had inquiries all weekend from potential renters. Steve and Dev sanded the floors, and will seal them next weekend. Our contractor arrives bright and early tomorrow morning to finish the third bedroom. We are right down to the wire, but it looks like it should be ready for tenants by November 1st.

I'll pick Camden up around 11:00 this morning, and then I think we'll head into the city for story time at the book store. Maybe we'll even stop by Daddy's office for a visit. I'm happy to report that after nearly a week of waking up every 1.5-2 hours during the night, Griffin slept for a nearly 5-hour stretch last night, so I feel like a new woman today. I am feeling badly for my husband and boys as they have had an unfit wife and mother the past few days. It is scary what severe sleep deprivation can do to a girl.

Time to get to some bill-paying and assorted paperwork.